Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
