Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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