You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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