did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
