My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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