Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
