$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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