She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
