She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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