I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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