so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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