My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
