At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
