just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
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the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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