she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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