you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
