how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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