I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.