Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize