He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
did i walk over a car last night?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
