If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
