Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
