The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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