On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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