you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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