I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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