i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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