sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
