thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
