Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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