upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
