the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the liver wants what the liver wants
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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