Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
handjob tips. give me some.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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