I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We need to get me chipped asap
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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