Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
