Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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