i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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