Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
