All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
