so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize