Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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