Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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