youre lurking in front of me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize