I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
