isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
