He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize