suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
