After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
