k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
