Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
