Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize