There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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