That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
