I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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