That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
