I heard we made out
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
