The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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