Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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