between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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