Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry about my life...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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