I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
