Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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