wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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